Inspired by Sweet Amaya

First I want to thank my Sweet Heavenly Father for His Ever Unfailing Love over my life.  He has been by my side from before I was born.  He has written my story for me to have had the joy to unravel and reflect on when I wasn’t aware of His presence.  He has walked me through all of my brokenness and continues to break pieces of me and molds them into such beauty for I couldn’t do it alone. Believe me I have tried.

God gifted Ben and I with a Sweetly Beautiful Daughter named Amaya, meaning night rain.  Amaya was born on October 28, 2011.  Amaya is sweetly beautiful, peaceful, breathtaking, courageous, determined, a heart of innocence, mostly always smiling.  A sweet joy she is. 

As I have witnessed Amaya’s growth each day she has an eye of new discoveries.  When Amaya see’s something new;  you can see the Awe in her eyes.    She startles to the unknown only to embrace the unknown in one breath.  Her focus and attention is so absorbent like a sponge.  When Amaya discovers a new way to do things it’s a sweet victory that she is covered in.  At times she gets frustrated because what she had her heart set on; her body was not ready, she is patient.  She works through her frustration without fail, she discovers in her own way how to achieve her heart’s desire. She’s determined.  She doesn’t give up; she tries harder.

 I look at the words I have written above and then have read them aloud and I see God clothing her as His child!!! He is wrapping her in His Truth before she can even whisper and say His name aloud.  Though I know she hears His Sweet Voice, so tenderly speaking to her  guiding and encouraging her daily.
God has opened my eyes to so much Truth as I watch Amaya grow.  Amaya has inspired me to be opened to new discoveries, to challenge myself within and even on the outside, to focus and to be attentive to my surroundings, to be adventurous, to have the determination when it may be frustrating and I feel as though I want to give up, to have victory, and to achieve my heart’s desire.

Amaya has also inspired me to live a healthier lifestyle than I once did and so that I could give to her what she has inspired me to do. 

There are days that I have wanted to give up on the  goals that I have set for myself; however I am inspired to never give up and to always get back up when I fall, to never doubt myself, and to be positive of one’s thoughts. 

I know we as parents think that we are to be the teachers but it is our children that are to teach us at times to help us reflect on what matter which are the relationships that we make as a family, as individuals and as a community.

Thank you Sweet Heavenly Father for showing me how you love us and how so sweet you speak to us and encourage us!!!

Sweet Sweet Smiles ;>)

My 24 Day Challange on AdvoCare

It all began when I was being showered for our Sweet Amaya, hosted at my Aunt Pat’s house.  My Aunt Janie was present and was looking absolutely fabulous and wanted to know what her secret was.  Was it working out, eating differently, what was she doing? 

So I found out that she started the 24 Day Challenge from AdvoCare. 

Amaya was born on October 28, 2011

Pre-pregnancy my beginning weight was about 160ish and Post pregnancy I weighed in about 193 lbs. at my 6 week check.  I lost myself after having Amaya I continued to eat as if I were still pregnant my daily diet consisted of Monday through Thursday before work I would go and get Bojangles and would order a sausage Biscuit, 1 Egg & Bacon Biscuit with a Large Dr. Pepper. Lunch I would either have McDonalds (Large Soda with Large Fry Combo Meal, Wendy’s (2 orders of the 5 piece spicy chicken nuggets, large fry, a large Dr. Pepper  or even Subway (Footlong Spicy Italian, Lay’s Original Chips, Large Drink. For Dinner anywhere from Pizza, Pasta, Garlic Bread with lots of cheese.  I may have drank a glass of water a week maybe, but for the most part it was Soda.  Those who don’t know me well or have not gone out to eat with me, have never witnessed how I would eat, I would add salt to every single bite, I am not kidding at all.  Snacks would consist of lays original chips, pepperoni and crackers, bbq chips, tortilla chips with cheese dip, popcorn, and the list could go on.  I was truly a salt craver and it was my weakness. 

So this is leading up to how I began to feel about me and what I saw when I looked in the mirror.  Though I have an Amazing and a Husband who always showers me with words of affirmation; he saw and sees me as beautiful and would always tell me so.  But this went in one ear and out the other because what I was seeing and feeling within was so untrue.  Those lies they can do so much hurt to one’s inner thoughts, their cruel.

I began to realize that I needed to make a change for me, my marriage, and for Amaya.  Me I wanted to be a healthier woman with more energy a positive outlook, an encourager again. I say an encourager again because I realized that I stopped doing that because how could I encourage someone when I couldn’t listen to my own words that I voiced.  For my marriage I realized that even though Ben would shower me with words of affirmation I didn’t believe it and would respond back with yeah-yeah. I then came to a realization if I continued this way he may stop telling me all together because when he tells me “You Are Beautiful Heather” he is giving me more of his heart and I am just throwing it away. This is the last thing that I want to do.  For Amaya I see her innocents where she doesn’t know any other way of food intake and healthy foods to eat not healthy foods to eat unless she sees what we are eating.  

It all became clear after Ben and I were talking about when we were growing up that our diets were so much different than what we were consuming on a day to day basis.  We both stated that we didn’t want her to eat the way we were currently eating.

All these things were the driving point for me to get in contact with my Aunt Janie regarding AdvoCare she did mention to me that the products may be pricey but worth every penny.  I wanted to give it a try I signed on a 24 Day Challenge- which included the 10 Day Cleanse, 14 Days of MNS C, Vanilla Shake, Spark Energy Drink and added Catalyst and ThermoPlus and CarbeasePlus to my order, On March 21, 2012.  As I said before post-pregnancy at my 6 week check I weighed in at 193 lbs., but with the way I was eating I could of put on more weight by March 21^st. 

I read up on all the to do’s and not to do’s while doing Phase 1 and Phase 2.  At first I was hesitant but was willing to give it a go. 

This is what the 24 Days looked Like for me:

During the Cleanse Days 1-10

Followed the directions of how to do the Cleanse and also my Aunt Janie, Jamie and Lori

No Sodas, Salt, Breads, Starches, Sweets (Completely did without these)

Lots and Lots of Water!!!!!

I ate Tuna, Salmon and Tilapia, chicken occasionally with avocados (not all at the same time but for different meals), green, red, yellow and orange peppers. Zucchini, broccoli (yes I said broccoli I never have eaten it before this, I roasted it with garlic, which is so easy to make), spinach and eggs.

 I used salt-free herbs, lemon juice, spray olive oil, spices, and herbs.

Fruits for when I had a sweet tooth such as pears, apples, grapes and other fruits.

Dry Roasted Almonds (unsalted which I found them at Trader Joe’s)

During Phase 2 Days 11-14

Taking the MNS C for Control of Appetite, Thermoplus, Catalyst and CarbeasePlus  for my daily routine of vitamin intake and also received advice from Jamie and Lori as well.

I continued with the same menu options

I have introduced occasionally roasted red potatoes with oregano, garlic, pepper)

You can introduce whole wheat back into your diet (I would suggest in moderation)

Light Mozzarella cheese (in moderation)

So I say that to say Ben and I found a place in Athens called Your Pie, a 10inch personal pizza  this is my splurge meal on a Saturday occasionally and only a few slices of it, whole wheat dough, roasted garlic olive oil for base, light mozzarella, spinach, roasted red and green peppers with red onions. 

The reason I say splurge occasionally of personal preference I know that if I am too strict on myself that I could get frustrated all together and then possibly even drive Ben crazy, haha, we don’t want to do that.

I have not added salt to anything that I am getting ready to eat, so that being said I have introduced different spices to my dishes, which I have to be careful about for Ben because he likes spicy foods but in moderation.  I could eat spicy all the time.

After 3 or 4 days I was already noticing a difference within.  I felt so much better at first I was hesitant because I was like I can’t go without salt soda etc. But soon I realized in those days that I have not wanted or was even looking for these things. 

I have been on Advocare for  46 days now and am still continuing on this new healthier lifestyle for me, my marriage, and our daughter Amaya.  I lost a total of 29 lbs and counting.

In addition to the weight loss I have even saved approximately $50-100 from not eating fast food and the grocery bill has even dropped. 

I originally signed on as a distributor for the automatic 20% discount for the product for myself.  I soon realized that the results I have been getting and the increased energy during my day; didn't want to just hold it to myself.  I want to be able to share how AdvoCare has changed my life and want to be apart of other friends and families journey as well, near and far.

I am forever grateful for my Aunt Janie for the introduction to AdvoCare and for Jamie mentoring me through AdvoCare. 

Since I have been on this journey of a healthier new lifestyle I don’t want to just keep it to myself I want others to benefit as well.  If you would like to know more on how to jump on board  to feel and see the results for yourself, please leave a comment or email me at scranton.heather@gmail.com

Maternity Leave is coming to an end, its bitter sweet.

From the moment I heard our Sweet Amaya’s cry my heart, ears, and eyes were captured; she has been the sweetest gift I have been given.  God gave us the privilege and honor of being her parents and my hope and prayer is that we are directed by His Truth daily. 

Amaya has grown so much with all the adjustments of learning things for the first time it amazes me daily.  Learning something for the first time is beyond wonder; her eyes connect with the smallest things from the crocheted blanket that hangs on our couch, to her tiny hand that cuts across the corner of her eye and moves her blanket, with her eyes adjusting to the so many lights, shadows and colors how I would love to be able to see what she sees through her eyes.  The learning that I get to embrace is her many cries the cries of needing to be changed, to being hungry, just wanting to be held, being too cold or too hot, fighting sleep, and even the unknown for the first time and getting the hang of it.  Her cries are too cute from having big alligator tears to having no tears at all and have realized the magic of the cry. “When I cry I am attended too in some way”, its mommy and daddy on speed dial, without the technology. Though if I go to the other room I have her phone “the baby monitor” with me and no it’s not attached to the hip but more like attached to my ear and awaiting when she needs to be looked upon.

It is a bittersweet end to this leave though my heart is at peace to know that she will be looked over by her daddy who she has wrapped around his little finger.  Most of the time she thinks it’s play time with daddy with his caring voice that speaks beauty into her life while holding her head and one and her little body in the other as he brings up and down, a light bounce but her eyes are amazed and she is just inhaling in all that she sees when she is in his hands.  It warms my heart to be in the other room and come in to see them bonding and the love he has for his sweetly beautiful daughter is just priceless.
 As I go to work I know in all of us it will be an adjustment.  I pray that the Lord watch over our family, may He fill each of us with Peace, Hope, Joy and Love as we adjust.  Thankfully I am only 5.5 seconds away from home okay more like 2-3 minutes but it’s a hope a skip and maybe a little bit of a jump.  So I will get to run home for lunch and get to see Our Sweet Amaya for a bit.
Sweet Sweet Smiles this Mommy has for her Sweet Amaya!!!

Our Sweet Amaya

It all started 9 months ago it felt like yesterday we found out we were pregnant and now we hold our Sweetly Beautiful Gift from God a true Miracle in our arms. God gave us a gift that words cannot truly describe the full amount of this gift but through each second, minute, hour, day we get to see our Sweet Amaya’s story unravel before our eyes.

So October 27^th I went into the hospital to be induced to have my water broken and was in labor from 10:45am to Midnight that evening.  Where I didn’t progress and dilate like they had wanted me to do even upping the Pitocin I was on to bring on labor. And Our Sweet girl didn’t want to drop she was still sitting high against my rib cage.  So when asked we can go several more hours through labor and I could dilate a cm an hour and that would been an additional 6 hours I was already tired and just didn’t see myself having the strength to deliver her naturally.  So Ben and I made the decision to go through with the C-Section so that Mommy and Baby could be healthy and as pain free as possible.

They whisked me away after prepping me for the C-Section, as I laid there Ben was then brought in to sit with me as we awaited Our Sweet Amaya.  There was pressure, a push, a pull her head was brought out, her shoulder and then I heard the Sweetest Cry as she began to cry all I could do was begin to cry with her and Thank God for Her Sweet Arrival.

 October 28, 2011 at 1:24am Amaya Scranton entered the world to make her mark to unravel her story weighing in at 7lbs 14oz and 19 inches. 

We found out why she hadn’t dropped and even if I went through trying to have her naturally we still would have ended up having a C-Section. She was sitting “Indian Style”. She truly loves crossing her legs and always wanting either a hand or foot out from under blanket.

They brought her to me to see her Sweetly Beautiful Face and gave her kiss and she was taken to be cleaned up and examined as they finished with me.  When I was brought into the recovery room Ben was standing there with Our Sweet Amaya in his arms. What an Amazing Sight to See.  I was then able to embrace our Sweet Daughter in my Arms holding her in the womb and now actually holding her in my arms.  I can’t even describe how much love that we have for her but I understand more and more the meaning of unconditional love.

The days have been amazing seeing her blossom and grow is just amazing, moving her head side to side, speak to us the only way she can is through her cries and eyes and we get to learn what she is saying to us.  She exudes Peace, Love, Beauty, Hope, Delight, Adventure, and so much more.

We were completely grateful  with all the support we had from all the staff at the hospital the nurses were so Sweet and Attentive, giving me Advice and answering all the millions of questions we had; I couldn’t ask for a  better experience. 

We were very proud parents to introduce her to family and friends and send pictures to those that couldn’t be there.

Our Sweet Amaya has stolen our hearts and We are Truly Blessed to have the Honor of being her Parents!!!

Sweet Sweet Smiles ;>)

Our Sweetly Beautiful Daughter's Name!!!

We would like to announce Our Daughter's Name...But first here's a little bit of how the name came to play.


We were running through name options with one another and that every one that came to mind just wasn't a sure fit although some very nice names with some great meanings. Then there were ones that names sounded great and looked up the meaning and the meaning did not do the name justice.

So a week ago June 3, 2011 when Ben and I found out that we were having a girl the search for a girls name began, we had dinner at my mom's that weekend and going over some names with her and mentioned that we didn't think her name would start with an A. Any who.

So we got home after that weekend looking up names on the Internet and looking up there meanings and so fourth...the one letter that we kept going to was in fact the A, go figure.
So after a week and half we finally found the name that Our Sweetly Beautiful Girl will be called and named. We definitely have felt that this name is hers and chosen by us with Our Sweet Heavenly Fathers guidance.

Her name means Night Rain in Japanese...Didn't you know that Ben and I speak Japanese!! Nah Just Kidding, but absolutely love the name...I haven't quite shared the name just yet because I want to give a little back ground on why we have chosen this name.


Before Ben and I began dating we had met at a Small Group called Tribe where we were sitting there talking over several weeks within the group and rain was mentioned and I just sighed and was stating that I just love the smell of the rain and how calm it makes me...So any who a couple weeks had passed and we were sitting in group again and Ben was telling me about his adventure that past weekend. Where he and the guys that he worked with went hiking and camping and one of the nights it had been raining and they all were in there tents going to sleep that night and as it was raining a breeze swept within his tent and the scent of rain overwhelmed his senses and then mentioning to me that it made him think of me.... I about burst... "Ben thought of me" was running through my head and so that one evening with the rain, was one reason why are story is continuing to be written.


And this is why the name has so much meaning to us and is part of an amazing love and story...

We are please to Announce Her Sweetly Beautiful Name .... Amaya Scranton!!!

Continue to lift us up in Prayer as we prepare to be Parents that have been Called by Our Sweet Heavenly Father Parents to Our Precious Amaya!!!

We're Going to Haiti/Our First Meeting

We're Going to Haiti!!!

We got the email that we have been 2 out of 10 people chosen to go and we are so over joyed to have the opportunity to go to Haiti.   We don't exactly know what we will be doing when we go but our hearts are being prepared as each day goes by. Preparing our hearts to serve the people of Haiti, to loving them well, to sharing our stories, but most of all to hearing their stories and connecting and making relationships with the people of Haiti and in doing so that they will see the Love of God and we will see the Love of God through them and all around the people of Haiti.  

Our first Meeting was January 16 where we were able to meet the team; some of the people we have never met and then there were some we knew.  All a Sweetly Beautiful Team/Body. I look forward to getting to know each and every one of them and their stories as we prepare as a whole to go to Haiti.  Our first meeting consisted of sharing a little bit about our selves ... I was completely flustered stumbling and fumbling all words nerves, excitement and skipping every other word because my mind was trying to go in  overdrive and get it all out there ... got a bit of a chuckle and was able to continue.  Our Team Leader is Tracy C whose heart is welcoming and inviting, Co-Leader Kerry G. though she was missed at the first meeting we will get to hear her heart and her stories because she has just arrived back from Haiti, and the rest of the team is Melissa F whose heart is of gold she is genuine kind and just a Sweetly Beautiful Sister in Christ, Julie H who is also a Sweetly Beautiful Lady who has a compassionate heart with warmth and love to give, Me, my husband Ben whose a one of a kindhearted Man of God with such wisdom and strength that is so compassionate and easy to be around, Ryan S who was also missed but is true genuine kind loving who is funny and great to be around, Tyler G who is a man of worship kind spirited and great to be around as well, Chris L. who has an eye for photography and heart for missions.  It is so cool how God hand picked each one of us as a piece of the puzzle. Our next meeting is January 30th and we get to continue to grow as a body.

As the preparations take momentum we ask for God to equip us with the tools, His Truth, Love, Guidance, Wisdom, Protection, Understanding, Prayer and Financial Support for He is our Provider and we Put Our Trust in Him. To become more disciplined daily and obedient to Gods Truth; through prayer, seeking Him, journaling and trusting with complete Faith.To begin to strengthen ourselves as  individuals and as a body. For us to pray for the people we will soon meet and give us the opportunity to share the Love of God and also for us to see the Love of God who is already there doing His work.

We don't know exactly what we will be doing but the possibilities are anywhere from VBS opportunities, Building/Construction opportunities, and being apart of a making difference. To Sharing, Laughing, Doing Life, and Hearing their stories and hearts.

I am forever Grateful for the opportunity that God has given myself and Ben to go Haiti. For God you are Author and we get to unravel our story that You Lord have already written for us ... For You will be Glorified and Exalted before we even step foot in Haiti ... For You Go Before Us All!!!

"and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." Isa 61:3

Sweet Sweet Smiles ;>)

Fall Season 2010 Small Group

This Fall Season during small group has been truly amazing...Where to begin?

I am forever grateful for the opportunity of being an apprentice this season to a with a Sweetly Beautiful Leader Julia K. whom I Love Dearly a Sister in Christ.  Thank you Lord Almighty for the Sweetly Beautiful Ladies that you brought into Julia and I's small group. At first I had so many anxious thoughts running through my head at the beginning of the first night but as soon as I walked into the room that we would be doing life with one another and Experiencing God as Sisters in Christ.  We have had many memories that will last a life time with lots of love given, laughs had, sweet tears shed, and all the unique stories we experienced as individuals and as a body. I personally learned a lot this season from each and everyone of the ladies, though some came and went I learned a lot from each of them.  We were able to lift one another up with prayer, words of affirmation, encouragement and in Truth.  We were able to dive deep into some great Truth and ask some questions that some may think never to ask or even have the courage to ask. But we were all able to hear with open hearts and eyes to see the truth.  I have never been more proud of these ladies, they let walls down and were able to share there hearts.  We definitely enjoyed the testimony sleepover each of their stories were Sweetly Beautiful and to see God through each step, each laugh, each tear He Truly was There and every situation. Each story was a Story of Redemption, Victory, Healing, Restoration, Accomplishment, Worth, An Emptiness Made Whole....A Reflection of where they had been and where they are going...It only gets better with God as there Foundation. 
The things that I learned from these ladies was so encouraging. I learned to what it means to truly seek God when doubt seeps in, how to truly surrender and let go of me being in control and letting God take the Reigns, to loving Him first to then loving myself to loving others well, to forgiving another, the meaning of serving someone other than myself, to letting go of the selfishness that always tries to take reigns in my life, to even leading another its not always what you say but what your actions are, what your reaction is, to even how you treat your family.
As the season was ending I had the question continue to linger within as to how easy is it to love a complete stranger well and to how much work it takes to love the closest people to you. Love is a Choice. I Choose to Love as how God chose to love me. He loves me at my worst and my best. What an Amazing God I have. I am truly blessed to have a relationship with Him who gave me laugh and is continuing to write my story and loving the adventure of finding out what has been written.
I am forever changed and truly blessed to have been apart of an amazing Sweetly Beautiful Group.
My Heart is overwhelmed with emotion. Thank you So much to all of these Sweetly Beautiful Ladies
Julia K., Alex G, Sarah R, Lauren W, Sarah W, Lindsy V, Abbey S, Ashley S, Becca O, Collen O', Leah C, Mariela J
Thank You Sweet Heavenly Father for each of them and their hearts. I am forever grateful!!!

A Voice

My Hearts Breaks,

Breaks for those that are lost running the other direction into arms of drugs, alcohol, guys, hate, anger, pushing those that  care about them away; to only be isolated and alone, trapped in their own suffering trying to fight their way out to only go deeper into a dark and cold dungeon with no warmth no love no security no comfort no effort no willingness...destruction. It really tears my heart to listen to story after story of the brokenness and how lost those can get. Thinking they are running into safety and a blanket of protection or a self medicating protection or a blanket to repel others away with or a blanket of thinking that this is a way to be loved by another. Or those that are broken who are that once had their innocence to only be stolen by another and not by their choice and to have their voice taken from them. Stripped of who they were by not their choice, but by another's hands, by their words, by their actions, by their abandonment. They have lost  their identity and replaced it with rejection, defeat, unworthy, betrayed, taken advantage of, shattered, shamed, guilty, deserted...My Heart Breaks and ask myself Why? Why does this happen not only to the  victim, but by the person that is doing this, "what happened to them, what made them do this as well?"

My heart continues to break for those that are the victims and those that do the cruel and harsh things that people just don't want to see or even talk about and what goes on maybe even at their neighbors house. It breaks my heart to look at the children's eyes and just see brokenness and have experienced things that at that age they can never even wrap their eyes around not alone their emotions. Or figure out that their voice and choice that they have has been taken from them at  a young age or at any age for that matter.

In this spiraling downward spiral of being victims we have a choice to voice and  encourage those that feel stripped of their voice that they can stand firm and Voice their hearts cry. To not be quiet and let a day go by where this isn't being talked about and making others aware that it does go on at your next door neighbors, it happened to the little child at the grocery store, the little child at the park, the little child on the baseball field, on the soccer field, the little child in the bleachers, the child in the car next to you....It happens to more neighbors in your neighborhood, next door, in your town, city, state inside the United States as much as it happens outside of the country or just maybe in your family.  It just isn't spoken about, because some don't want to admit it or be blinded by it because one may feel it's better to not see it so you don't become affected by what goes on.

We all have voices and all want to be heard so why not help Voice your Heart for those that haven't yet or just don't know how to because they never knew that they have one. A VOICE!!!

I have the privilege of working at the front office for a psychologist who works with the young and love to see the transformation that takes place from their first visit to the ones after to overcoming and walking through the trenches that most of us may never go through but to see them transform and grow to hear and know that they have A Voice!!!  When they walk in the building and am greeted with a smile and can see in their eyes that they feel safe and a place of comfort to be themselves. To when she walks out to greet the child to have them run to her and give her a hug and can't wait to tell her about what they did that day and enjoy the time they have while they are there. 

I am so honored and grateful that God provided me with this job and the opportunity to be a part of an environment (because I am the person that greets the children and parents first prior to seeing her) to make sure they feel welcomed with no judgements.
And after meeting with her, they have help expressing their Voice in a healthy way!!

A Voice!!!!

"I am going to be her apprentice"

The Season for a Sweetly Beautiful Group Handpicked by God to unite together as Sisters in Christ!
My heart leaps and dances within as I got the text from Julia to tell me that "I am going to be her Apprentice"... Many thoughts have ran through my head seasons before that I wonder what it would look like for me to apprentice and lead a group of ladies that are so eager to learn just as much as I want too. I finally get the opportunity to do just that. Julia as the Leader and myself as her apprentice. 
I am forever grateful and yet terrified at the same time  with being nervous of talking in front of people (yeah I know I am a social butterfly, but it's nerve racking just the same; with thoughts of will they like me, will they understand me or even I don't know a lot, I am going to say it wrong or all eyes towards me and they are listening to what I have to say "what will they do with what I have said" ,etc.). I have realized that this is getting in the way of me  doing God's work and it is getting in the way of sharing all God has done and continues to do for me, my family and others.  Yet this verse helps me  and is tattooed to my heart "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1Peter 5:7) Fears are nasty they always get in the way of doing Gods work ... Fears can leave you paralyzed and uncomfortable. But with  these verses tattooed to my heart "You , O Lord keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop, with my God I can scale a wall"
(Psalm 18:28-29)
Anything is Possible with God!!!
My Hearts desire is to gain more knowledge and truth of who God is and How he has uniquely touched each and every lady that we meet and connect with during this season.
"By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures" (Proverbs 24:3-4)
The treasure is relationships: Relationship with God, Relationship with Sisters in Christ...Plain old Relationships!! While building relationships with one another we will be able to share our life experiences,  how we have Experienced God in our lives and also  how we as a body can Experience God Together in a safe and comfortable environment where what we share is not taken outside the walls of our group. It will be a place where we can Share, Love, Laugh, Cry, Grow, Trust, Gain Knowledge and Understanding...Experience all these together with God at the core of each in everyone us and all around.

Looking forward to the  Sweetly Beautiful Women that I get to Experience God With!!

Clutter

Clutter: a confused or disorder state or collection, to fill or spread over in a disorderly manner, to make disorderly or hard to use by filling or covering with objects...

The day ended as I turned the light off in the bedroom and I tossed and turned and nuzzled my way into that perfect position or so I thought to only realize that my mind was going on another adventure to a world of clutter to a person's clutter in ones house and the difference of the clutter within it is not at all different then just that. Clutter
At the beginning of a new day I rise to wake to only realize that the pile of clothes that I had left in the corner is still there staring right back at me. To only say that I will get to you in a minute. To then walk down the hallway where I turn into the bathroom to stare at the mirror and say "seriously take a look at yourself your pitiful" to only soak it up and get ready for the day the best that I can. As I walk back out of the bedroom, passing by the pile of clothes which I added several new items to the pile after trying to find something to wear, to only realize that in the kitchen the dishes that are left in the sink from last nights dinner.
Though there are moments of cleaning house do we really clean house or do we do the minimal to one's eyes can see. To only go back to the cycle of the clutter and get into a routine of doing a half fast job of cleaning house.
As I embarked on the adventure my mind and deep within me, I realized that maybe the two where connected in more ways than one. Maybe one's pile of clothes that is sitting in a corner waiting to be put in its proper place is as the talk in the mirror was a reflection of the clothes in the corner and the dishes in the sink.
Taking care of one's body is to taking care of one's home they are both the same. To really feel nourished, taken care of, healthy is at times stressful. The stress of trying to look a certain way not feeling beautiful … unattractive. For awhile I felt I was beautiful and attractive but at this moment I don't, I had let go of myself. No matter the constant compliment that others give it doesn't ring truth from within. What happened? How I once felt beautiful it feels like a fix and not truth. I lost the rhythm of the song of truth as each word changes to clutter clutter clutter ugly ugly ugly fat fat fat gross gross gross...This is what is constantly in my mind though deep within I can feel the struggle of the truth trying to fight it's way to the top to overflow and radiate within ... out. I get one step forward of hearing that truth to only get pushed back, fall down and I just want to give up the fight at times. Why is that? It’s so much easier to give in and not fight back. Have you ever felt weak and no strength in any fiber of your being?
As one may think that they have no strength, I am being reminded of my strength which is in God, it comes from Him The Lord Almighty.
As I have been in this place of clutter this season...There is a picture perfect image staring at me as I enter my home...
The dishes piled, the table as if it were a place to hold onto all things except dinner, the bathroom with hair products on the counter, the towels waiting to be placed properly in there storage place, the bedroom one shirt after the other in several piles; some even color coded awaiting to be picked up, yet they only get picked up to be tried on to be taken off to only be thrown on the bed or in the opposite direction of the washing machine.
The word that is becoming louder in my head as I can see the word becoming Bolder and LARGER...ASK!!
Ask, What? "Heather you can't get this clutter cleaned up on your own, your needing help" SO I begin to wonder what that may look like, I could easily go and ask Ben for help and his help would be appreciated, but I have this tendency of when he does help, I go back over what he did, realizing that he placed something not its proper place, well the place that I believe to be its proper place. Why is that? Why do we tend to think that it can only be done one way only? We are two individuals yet still in the process of becoming one reminding oneself that we have different ways of doing things. We are still in the early stages of marriage haven't yet the year mark, but close...It comes with communication and understanding and speaking to one another with a loving heart and not a nagging heart.
Another thought is that I don't want to bother him (although I know I am not a bother, it's a thought that runs through my mind). So at times I don't even Ask him in fear of rejection. So I hide behind this fear, fear of rejection, and never to give him the opportunity to answer the question, Will you help me clean up this clutter?
It's at this moment I am asking the wrong person to help me clean up this clutter, remove the clutter, and even seed the clutter. I can't just clear away or clear off the clutter that is just removing from one's sight and not truly removing or disposing of the clutter.
This clutter I speak of is believing the lies of ugliness, not letting go, not confessing, blaming, gossiping, not forgiving, being selfish, getting my wants and not my needs.
I run to the Lord the one who will help me replace the lies of ugliness with truth that he finds me beautiful, He uses others to tell me I am beautiful. To let go and place before His feet, to not pick up. To confess to strip the pieces of clothing that is weighing me and not freeing me, the clothing that is as an elastic band cutting off circulation. To really walk blameless to not passing the blames on others and owning my blame. To remind one self not to gossip, to treat others as you would want to be treated. Giving the gift of Forgiveness as I was given. To not be selfish, share and give, to not hold up for one's self. To know that the wants are not what I am needing...
The Need is the One and Only By my side, The One of who Paid it All, The One That has Forgiven, The One Who is My Beloved, The One Who has Redeemed Me, Delivered Me...The One That Continues to Pursue me and Call Me Beautiful.
Lord Almighty I sit here crying out to be filled with the truth. To be filled with certainty of who You see me as and no other. Lord as well I sit here to be blanketed with protection and the help to drive out the ugly lies that I have listened to and have held onto instead of never picking those lies. Lord I lay down at your feet the lies that I have held onto for the past few months. Lord I know with you here I can do anything.
Lord Almighty, help me dispose of the seeds of lies that have been placed within, not just from sight but seed (remove) those lies and replace with seeds of Truth.

I ask you this, what are the things that Clutter your home, your heart?

Marriage a Relationship: you can never truly grasp, "The whole muse in the canvas until you are the muse in the canvas"

So I was sitting with my brothers and cousin the other night and we got on the topic of me writing and such...and the question that has ignited a fuse within to write since I haven't really written anything after the wedding. This is where I begin...
Being married, at one time it was a thought, a glimpse of what could be, looking at a picture of someone else's wedding photo,  a photo of a husband and wife. And I was like I want that but didn't really know why but deep within danced flutterly and rang truth to the core of my being.

It dawned on me...I remembered seeing a husband and wife a mother and a father...and I was like I want to be that A wife to a husband I want to be a mother to kids. I want a family of my own.  Those were thoughts dreams when I was a child.  I grew up and my thoughts and dreams as a young girl have actually started to come true.

I am a wife to a wonderful amazing husband, who gets me, who laughs with me and at times at me (which I get why, I even crack myself up at times) anywho...we can be real with one another, we can listen to one another and speak to one another.  Yeah at times we get annoyed frustrated with one another but we have to take a step back and remember we are on the same team and not at opposite sides of the boxing ring....though at times we have snap shots of us putting boxing gloves on our fists and having ones face on the other side...haha just kidding, thats what he said...(Grin) 

We are in a new chapter of our lives in our marriage with one another of understanding how each other works, what buttons to push what buttons not to push.  I always thought only my brothers could push my buttons but I have realized that is indeed not true.  Pushing each others buttons is a way we get to see how one another reacts. Reactions are somewhat intriguing. Oh yeah everyone reacts the same to all situations...Not.  We all react differently.  It's just the same when asked "What is Normal?"  Normal to someone might be some one elses crazy.

I Love that everyday is a new one and everyday there is a new reaction.  We have a choice on how we react and how we want to react. React out of Compassion, out of Love, out of Fear, out of Hurt...we react to our emotions.  I have recently experienced the reaction when one doesn't have a filter....didn't have a filter the other night which at the moment didn't think anything of it but soon was made aware of the unfiltered mouth that I had, had.  Though I have realized of the unfilteration of ones mouth can bring others hurt, anger, pain, a reaction but one learns to filter before speaking. It brings me to this:

I was watching a show the other day and a phrase was said, "that you may be able to ask for forgiveness but one may not give it...why? Forgiveness is a Gift." Though I may ask for forgiveness from Ben he may forgive me, he may not, that's not for me to decide.  It brought me to a lesson that I was taught during my Innerhealing group  that I did...that our teacher said to us that forgiveness can be given to someone though you don't have to tell them but you can truly forgive someone without telling them.  Not saying that it is ever circumstance there are times where you need to verbally tell the other person that they have been forgiven and why you forgive them. So it started me going on this what if he never he told me I was forgiven...oh my I would go crazy was my first thought, I will have to confront him was the next.  Then I took a breathe and during my time of processing through this and bringing it to God  and ask God's forgiveness first then for Ben to forgive me; I was told to not do anything, but be in the area but not to poke and try to strike a conversation with him.  I did just that, wow obeying, though I was feeling tormented because he wasn't talking to me.  I had asked God if he could allow me to feel and be put in his shoes and he did just that I felt the hurt the anger...it was agony to feel the hurt I had caused, I wanted so quickly to tend to his hurt, but I was to wait.

God thank you for being here with us, with him, with me..Thank You Lord!!  Bringing and placing it all at your feet is at times hard to do, but it is Well Worth It!!  As I was obedient, I was forgiven, Ben came and we talked, mostly I listened and then I responded...I realized that I wanted him to forgive me but needed to forgive myself as well.   Ben had forgiven me and we worked through the pain, the hurt.With God being our guide as we walked throught those hurts and pains we were able to mend and tend to the wounds together.Through this we have realized and learned that it is making the foundation of  Our Marriage a Stronger and More Firmer Foundation when God is at the Center at the Core of Our Marriage.

During these  months of being newlyweds.. we have really understood and have experienced ;and continue to experience what it truly means to be married. 

I Love being Married to my Best Friend Ben...Wouldn't want any other to have these experiences with and go on  this journey of discovering new things about one another and fall more and more in love with the man that has won my heart and continues to win my heart.

Sweet Sweet Smiles ;>)

Vulnerability...Heart Opened

Wow...Vulnerability...heart opened...although being vulnerable first thing in the morning can flow many ways...sweet, joyful, peaceful, loved, sad, angry, anxious, doubtful...the days that I wake up in an unpleasant mood is never fun...i notice that my first reaction especially if someone is talking to me is unattached...not focused...short..annoyed...i then have to take a few steps back and realize that no one put me in that mood and so i retreat within, maybe not retreat from the room pursue, but have to retreat and gather my thoughts grasp on the            

mood, the fruit, and start from the top and travel down the root of the fruit...while on that process of finding out        the truth of the fruit...its unexplainable but i will give it a whorl...while on that process there is a questions...and what do questions lead you too...which is truth and  i absolutely love questions getting to know the answer, the Truth...

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8

... So Sweet This Is..

...so the questions I ask myself are:

Why am I feeling the way I am feeling? What was the trigger? How did I get to this place? 

when asking these questions i find myself from within opening as light is shinning bright warming up those areas, that as i am exploring every inch of the root or roots of my mood, at times maybe its one root of a fruit but most of the time its the deepest root of the fruit that is in the depths

...as i can notice my heart being opened i am aware of my vulnerability and i then am able to find the truth find the end to the root...now at times when getting  rid of a root you pull it however I have found that yeah the roots pulled “i am happy go-lucky girl”..sike...not even close..so with questioning why am i feeling this way? i find out what seed was planted  it can be any seed...a seed of: loneliness, bitterness, guilt, anger, doubt, fear, anxiousness, unresolved issues, not forgiving...whatever it maybe it grows if you don’t tend to the seed because it was planted but its what you do with it when you notice that it has fallen do you just bury it deeper or do you take that seed and shower it with truth with understanding and keep showering with truth tending to the seed of which it may be...when discovering what the seed is...is key to the root and you can begin to tend and take care and in seasons to come it will bloom into the redemption of where you once were and are able to share with others.

So others are able to tend to their seeds that were planted prior to truth, after stumbling...Diving into the Depths of God’s Heart and building a Relationship with Him is a Sweetly Intimate Way of Him showing Us How He Works and the Tools He Gives us is Awesome to unravel and able to figure out.

       So from the beginning from this excerpt was the thought “oh Sweet Mornings its amazing how in the morning as i wake i feel more vulnerable, my heart opened...So Sweet You Are My Creator!! Why Is That?”

So I have this to say after processing through these thoughts and As i end i have to say at the beginning of this I wanted to get the thought of how sweet and opened and vulnerable i was feeling and it was a sweet vulnerability  of love and warmth and  as i am writing i am  reminded and in reflection of how i got to where i am and able to use the tools that i have been given and also share with others what God has and is Doing within me.

Diving In!

Sleep can’t do that every toss and turn is aggravating irritating…I am going stir crazy and yet no stirring is occurring. Changes have brewing yet I am not really sure what I am stirring them with…I feel as the utensils I have been given aren’t being used properly. I know its in this time of not knowing how to use the tools that I have learned that the tools need to be revamped livened up…I know at times I am just waiting looking around the corner to see what will happen…I know I should have that “dive right in mentality” though one of my deepest fears is literally diving I have tried but never have succeeded in diving…I chicken out I freeze I turn and walk off the diving board or sit on the edge of the pool and ease my way into the pool.

Why is that? Though I see others as it is a natural everyday thing diving in that is to the pool.
I know that there is other ways of diving in though it seems I have forgotten how to do just that…taking that jump that leap I tell myself to jump and its as though I can’t bend my legs and push off with my feet and take flight on air if only for a second and then will be back on solid ground or a pool of water...

I have a picture in my head of a girl standing at the pool on the edge with her toes dangling off the edge staring at the water (her mind wandering how she was going to get into that pool) many times before she stood at that same position to only place one foot at a time in the water and sitting at the ledge for a moment or two and sliding in.

She thought to herself next time it will be different I will dive or do something similar to a dive. Though it is terrifying and nerve wrecking she must do it…so does she.
She battles in her thoughts within where no one can hear them but herself…wrestles down the truths…the questions that stirred within her “how will you feel after diving in?”, what will you remember from this moment?” did you change the utensils you use?

Though the real question I ask is Where Are You? This question I learned to ask that in moments like this in my inner healing class…Where can I see Him, Isn’t He right there, what is He doing, and my Response is, “Yes He is There right here by my side, right there at the top of the wall with Arms reaching out to me….This He I speak of Is He who is Unfailing, He who is my Provider, He who is my Comforter, He who is my Arms to Rest In, He who is Love, He who is Amazing, He who is the Lord Almighty, My Sweet Heavenly Father, My Redeemer…

For its at this moment that I know that I can dive in (may not look like the best dive but it’s the dive I feel I can dive) which is me standing on the ledge of the pool where I then get a running start where my heels lift off the concrete my arches of my feet can only feel air and my toes are the last to push off the ground where my legs go to my chest, my arms go around them and I jump into the pool making the biggest splash that I can possibly make…You know what I realized is that it doesn’t matter how you literally dive in… its about Diving into your fears leaving it behind…Letting Go of your Fears and placing them at His Feet.

How I Came to The Place of Sweet Sweet Smiles

Sweet Sweet Smiles...

yeah I know some people might be enough already with the Sweet Sweet Smiles. However there is more than what is on the surface of Sweet Sweet Smiles its more so the otherside of what once was...such as Fear, Doubt, Addiction, Sorrow, Sadness, Loss, Loneliness, Feeling of Not worthy, Frustration, Irritations, Self Pity, Loss of Job, Not Being Heard, Brokenness, No Matter the circumstance No Matter The Road...

Its where you are standing at the door, wall, mountain, or even a river.  Though many of times you have tried to...

Walk through that door but you don't want to turn the knob.

 

Climb that brick wall, but don't know where to place your footing once you start climbing so you give up

 

Hike that mountain but the numbness of  your legs and the weight on your shoulder that pushes you back down.

    

Cross the river but midway of swimming such as the current pushing you down stream you give up and go back to the side of which you started.

    

A Thought:

During that moment of fear and doubt you have a tap on a shoulder, a whisper to the ear a feeling of someone(s):

• Holding your hand helping you turn that knob and not feeling alone.
• Arms at the top of the wall as your arms reach to grab hold and feeling confident with placing each foot into the creases in the brick
• Whisper in your ears encouraging you that you can climb this mountain that he is right there with you
• There to hold your head above the water and help you tread the water to get to the other side.

He is with you with every crawl,  step, climb, swim, sweat, tear...On Every Road. No Matter the Conditions of the Road.

That Someone Is:

God. The Lord Almighty. Jesus Christ. Jesus Messiah. The Holy Spirit. Sarayu (character in The Shack by William P Young... which danced on my heart)

For I am Reminded Daily that Everyday In  All circumstances He is There by myside...By Your Side!!

This is why most of the times my status is Sweet Sweet Smiles...This is Why My Blog is Called Sweet Sweet Smiles...This is Why I Love This Phrase!!!

         

First Blog On Here!!

My First Blog Ever On Here!!

;>) Sweet Sweet Smiles ;>)

So I finally setup a blog site as you kinda figured out if your reading this...not sure how these things go...So for my first blog ever...here it goes: I love to write however i am not so great on punctuation don't know where to put comma's, semi colons, colons, etc. at times i am not sure how to even start a sentence as well....So if this may irritates you i apologize in advance. if you don't know me i am an extrovert when i process things i speak out loud my thoughts to come to a conclusion at times without input, i just need an ear to listen, such as a sound board. I jump from subject to subject. You may get dizzy trying to keep up with me at times but somehow when i re-read and read to others what I have written I am told that it make since and that they have understood what the point of the the story etc.. what i was trying to portray. this is one of many things that brings me Sweet Sweet Smiles.

I have written before this so i have posted previous writings up on here...So Enjoy and Can't wait to hear feed back or what ever you may want to comment on.

Sweet Sweet Smiles is my Blog!! ;>)