Diving In!

Sleep can’t do that every toss and turn is aggravating irritating…I am going stir crazy and yet no stirring is occurring. Changes have brewing yet I am not really sure what I am stirring them with…I feel as the utensils I have been given aren’t being used properly. I know its in this time of not knowing how to use the tools that I have learned that the tools need to be revamped livened up…I know at times I am just waiting looking around the corner to see what will happen…I know I should have that “dive right in mentality” though one of my deepest fears is literally diving I have tried but never have succeeded in diving…I chicken out I freeze I turn and walk off the diving board or sit on the edge of the pool and ease my way into the pool.

Why is that? Though I see others as it is a natural everyday thing diving in that is to the pool.
I know that there is other ways of diving in though it seems I have forgotten how to do just that…taking that jump that leap I tell myself to jump and its as though I can’t bend my legs and push off with my feet and take flight on air if only for a second and then will be back on solid ground or a pool of water...

I have a picture in my head of a girl standing at the pool on the edge with her toes dangling off the edge staring at the water (her mind wandering how she was going to get into that pool) many times before she stood at that same position to only place one foot at a time in the water and sitting at the ledge for a moment or two and sliding in.

She thought to herself next time it will be different I will dive or do something similar to a dive. Though it is terrifying and nerve wrecking she must do it…so does she.
She battles in her thoughts within where no one can hear them but herself…wrestles down the truths…the questions that stirred within her “how will you feel after diving in?”, what will you remember from this moment?” did you change the utensils you use?

Though the real question I ask is Where Are You? This question I learned to ask that in moments like this in my inner healing class…Where can I see Him, Isn’t He right there, what is He doing, and my Response is, “Yes He is There right here by my side, right there at the top of the wall with Arms reaching out to me….This He I speak of Is He who is Unfailing, He who is my Provider, He who is my Comforter, He who is my Arms to Rest In, He who is Love, He who is Amazing, He who is the Lord Almighty, My Sweet Heavenly Father, My Redeemer…

For its at this moment that I know that I can dive in (may not look like the best dive but it’s the dive I feel I can dive) which is me standing on the ledge of the pool where I then get a running start where my heels lift off the concrete my arches of my feet can only feel air and my toes are the last to push off the ground where my legs go to my chest, my arms go around them and I jump into the pool making the biggest splash that I can possibly make…You know what I realized is that it doesn’t matter how you literally dive in… its about Diving into your fears leaving it behind…Letting Go of your Fears and placing them at His Feet.

How I Came to The Place of Sweet Sweet Smiles

Sweet Sweet Smiles...

yeah I know some people might be enough already with the Sweet Sweet Smiles. However there is more than what is on the surface of Sweet Sweet Smiles its more so the otherside of what once was...such as Fear, Doubt, Addiction, Sorrow, Sadness, Loss, Loneliness, Feeling of Not worthy, Frustration, Irritations, Self Pity, Loss of Job, Not Being Heard, Brokenness, No Matter the circumstance No Matter The Road...

Its where you are standing at the door, wall, mountain, or even a river.  Though many of times you have tried to...

Walk through that door but you don't want to turn the knob.

 

Climb that brick wall, but don't know where to place your footing once you start climbing so you give up

 

Hike that mountain but the numbness of  your legs and the weight on your shoulder that pushes you back down.

    

Cross the river but midway of swimming such as the current pushing you down stream you give up and go back to the side of which you started.

    

A Thought:

During that moment of fear and doubt you have a tap on a shoulder, a whisper to the ear a feeling of someone(s):

• Holding your hand helping you turn that knob and not feeling alone.
• Arms at the top of the wall as your arms reach to grab hold and feeling confident with placing each foot into the creases in the brick
• Whisper in your ears encouraging you that you can climb this mountain that he is right there with you
• There to hold your head above the water and help you tread the water to get to the other side.

He is with you with every crawl,  step, climb, swim, sweat, tear...On Every Road. No Matter the Conditions of the Road.

That Someone Is:

God. The Lord Almighty. Jesus Christ. Jesus Messiah. The Holy Spirit. Sarayu (character in The Shack by William P Young... which danced on my heart)

For I am Reminded Daily that Everyday In  All circumstances He is There by myside...By Your Side!!

This is why most of the times my status is Sweet Sweet Smiles...This is Why My Blog is Called Sweet Sweet Smiles...This is Why I Love This Phrase!!!

         

First Blog On Here!!

My First Blog Ever On Here!!

;>) Sweet Sweet Smiles ;>)

So I finally setup a blog site as you kinda figured out if your reading this...not sure how these things go...So for my first blog ever...here it goes: I love to write however i am not so great on punctuation don't know where to put comma's, semi colons, colons, etc. at times i am not sure how to even start a sentence as well....So if this may irritates you i apologize in advance. if you don't know me i am an extrovert when i process things i speak out loud my thoughts to come to a conclusion at times without input, i just need an ear to listen, such as a sound board. I jump from subject to subject. You may get dizzy trying to keep up with me at times but somehow when i re-read and read to others what I have written I am told that it make since and that they have understood what the point of the the story etc.. what i was trying to portray. this is one of many things that brings me Sweet Sweet Smiles.

I have written before this so i have posted previous writings up on here...So Enjoy and Can't wait to hear feed back or what ever you may want to comment on.

Sweet Sweet Smiles is my Blog!! ;>)

Our Vows 7.25.09

August 3, 2009

So I have been asked to share our vows with the people that couldn't hear that weren't as close to the front....

My vows to Ben

My Sweet Handsome Ben...who knew with questions that lingered within each of us that we would be here today, But God... for I Love You So...

As one chapter ends and a New Chapter Begins with our Stories being unitied as one by our Lord Almighty...I am left speechless and in Awe that God is Unfailing...He Answers Prayers...He Answered Yours. It brings me Sweet Joy that I get to stand here next to you today and get to embrace this day, this moment, this marking stone. I am forever grateful that I get look into your eyes and see the Amazing Man of God that You Are. You have many gifts and one of many that stands out and has danced on my heart is the way you take something so complex to something so simple... That your heart for others is amazing the way you so willingly and generously pour out and never ask for anything in return... again one of many...

Ben I vow today that as we continue on this journey we will continue to add to one another, to treasure one another, grow with one another, walk along side one another through any and all seasons with Jesus Christ.

It brings me Sweet Smiles that together we can cry, laugh, love to be ourselves and enjoy what really matters and all its entirety which is a relationship, a marriage with one another and a Marriage that is built on a strong foundation which is a Daily Walk with God, Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit.

Ben It brings a Delight Joy that it just goes to show that with a Daily Renewing of Commitment to Trust Fully, Walk Patiently and to Willingly Follow God with Obedience in each day and Gain a Deeper love for Our Sweet Heavenly Father that anything and all things are possible. I am truly Blessed that as we walk along side one another we get to share the Love of Jesus Christ.You Ben are the Man that has Won My Heart. A Heart for which you fought privately for.I Love You Ben and Look forward to seeing all of the Chapters of Our Story unfold...So Sweet This Is!!!Sweet Sweet Smiles ;>)

Ben's ReplyYou Win, no seriously is what he said before saying His Vows

Ben's Vows to Me

I, Benjamin Edward Scranton, give to you Heather Jimenez, my hand in marriage. I promise to you, my wife, to love you in every sense of the word and to grow together in what this really means. I vow to go to whatever depths of humility are required for us to thrive and to bring the treasures found in those places of the heights to follow. I promise to have an open, attentive ear, heart and mind. to Hold and comfort you, smile and laugh with you and to play and work with you. I will fight with all I am to protect the beauty that comes as we two become one. I will be yours and only yours from this day forward; 'til death do us part

I DO! I DO! I DO!

So Here is what i have of Reflecting and Breathing And Knowing this to The Core Of My Being, My Soul!!!

I am sitting here Remembering When I Spoke These Words and Feeling So Free and the feeling of Being Made Whole... It is the Night That I Knew That I Couldn't Do Life Alone On my own, by myself. Everything that I was doing felt as though "this isn't me" "there is something else out there that i am missing" thats when I knew all the truth that I had been Listening To and Looking at was not true in me and so on and so on...I realized when asked is there anyone here that would like to respond and feel that wholeness that my heart exploded i heard screaming within that was a cry to be made whole to Know Love and All Its Forms, Truths...I was led in a sweet prayer so sweet this was and is...I then sat in a tub of water with clothes I had walked in with...in front of an entire room with My Amazingly Beautiful Cousin Dana on one side of me and Pastor Miles on the Other Side..He Asked Me Two Simple Questions yet in that moment These Questions Were a Sweet Amazing Marking Point That I Was Forever Changed...I was Asked "Do You Except Jesus For the Forgiveness of Sins" and I resoponded With I DO! Then Asked " Do You Promise TO Follow Him In All Your Days" again I Said I Do!

As I was then Brought Back into The Water I Felt all The Weight of everything I was trying to do alone and wounds that I had been trying to tend to by myself and All the Emptiness that i felt and the dark places i had been to being washed away...as I came Up I Literally Felt all That weight Being Lifted Off And Realized That I Was and Always Will Be Loved by My Lord and Savior...

As I have been walking on this Amazing Endless Journey My Sweet Heavenly Father has Revealed to Me what it Means: To Be Made Whole,To Know That I am Worthy, To Be Redeemed, To Be Told You Are Beautiful, To Be Healed Deep Within Your Core, To Share The Gift of Forgiveness, To Be Captivated, To Go Deeper, To Be A Warrior, To Seek His Face Daily, To Listen, To Be Patient, To Lay at His Feet, To Lay In His Lap, To Dance With, To Laugh with Him, To Soak in His Presence, To Embrace The Holy Spirit and Not Run, To Experience Him Deeper,To Worship Him, To Bring Him Praise Daily No Matter the Season, To Know He Is My Author, To Be Called and Know That He Calls Me His Bride...Wow He Leaves Me Speechless and I just want to Soak All These Up and Spin Sweet Twrils of Dancing and Fall Backwards Into His Arms!!

So The Next Time I say" I Do!" which is around the corner To An Amazing Man Of God to My Fiancee Ben He is The Man that I will Share Everyday with to walk with As God Has Already Written Our Story and We get To Unravel theStory that He has already written... of Our Stories coming togehter As One...Get To Know God in a Deeper way as Growing together With God At Our Core That He is Our Foundation Our Center...That on Our Wedding Day, Ben and I get to share with Our Families and Friends The Sacred Moment of God Uniting Us Together As Husband and Wife!!!!
I am so Forever Grateful For everything and Truly Embracing Our Engagement!!
Thank You To All!!

Thank You Sweet Jesus My Sweet Heavenly Father!!!GOD YOUR AMAZING!!!!!
SWEET SWEET SMILES ;>)

Taking New Paths

May 6, 2008

So here i go blogging most of the time i would just sit in my room and talk out loud my thoughts, of course with nobody in the room but me the four walls, a window to look out of at times. So i am wondering if everyone has had a conversation in there head from all angles and all the sudden there is the point where you get so upset of the conversation that you get mad and you have talk yourself down from yourself...well that's what i have done...and as i am writing this i am laughing because if i could get myself so upset over never having a conversation with anyone but myself that's pretty bazarre but hey. not afraid to admit that yes i have done this and on numerous occasions if that. HAHA.

Back to the point if there were one...i have been just thinking of how i got were i was and i know it definetly wasn't over night. I have taken so many different paths in my life and i can say with so much truth and honesty that this is the most rewarding path i have ever taken, it was scary at first but the most fullfilling and i know there maybe different paths that come in my life that i will have to choose from but the one i choose will be the one that the Lord will walk with me and at times may even be there to hold my hand to get me through any of the rough ones. I struggle all the time, i am strong at times even if i am struggling, i love to see others happy and make people happy (at times i may even forget about my happiness, but this i am working on ) My mind and thoughts wander a lot (if you couldn't tell by reading this, if you are reading this)

Well here we are again to the part about me being on this path of warmth, love, fullfillment; that piece in my heart that has been for so long felt not fully full (if that makes sense), and yes i know He's always been there but i wasn't thinking he was. I feel closer and closer to God and my Love and Faith in him is growing more and more everyday. And It's Awesome! Very Fullfilling and want to go outside and at the top of a mountain and just scream and praise him, Well i definetly being doing that this thursday at WatersEdge.!

Well to the people that took the time to read this, Thanks! and also to the people that did read this you get to know more of how i think and feel.    

Recent Events

June 4, 2008

  So recent events in my life should i say...at times i want to scream, dance, cry, laugh and so...i screamed but not out loud but inside and just voiced everything inside and just pretty muched surrendered and just said i give up and allow you into my life which at times i thought that you were around only when i am being good and just said forget you when i was bad...and i know now that it is not True what is true to me is that your the one person that can actually look at me inside and out and see my flaws and love me for me...Wow. God your Amazing... I allowed you in my life and i am so thankful for this journey that we are taking together, and understanding you as you have always understood me..yeah i know i am not perfect but in my heart and every fiber of me know i do the best and strive for being better in my life...To Dance is one of things that i most passionate about its away of expression and i dance when i am happy, giddy, just being weird, and at times when i am angry. at times i dance my feelings....I cry at times of the unknowing, the fear of something, happiness, joy, complete happiness and love i am not afraid to admit that i cry...i believe it allows me to be vulnerable and just surrender and just say " how do i do this?" for instance...crying is expression i believe doesn't make you weak it makes you( me ) stronger...I can say when i allowed you in my life and just dropped all walls that everyday i keep up it was really an unfamiliar feeling at first it was scary but then rewarding, exciting, a void that has been filled and is a really great feeling....God you have allowed me to see so much more in life. my life me personally and this is just an honor and I am so excited with love, laughter, joy, awesomeness, and still learning and understanding you...each day is a new day and i live it to the max. God Thank You for letting me in on this journey with you and understanding your love for me!

Sweetly Beautiful

Oct 1, 2008

  :>) So toady is a sweet and beautiful day that brings a smile to my face with peace, comfort and joy of today. At times i forget to stop and just embrace today and when i do it brings me such sweet happiness and I can truly enjoy a conversation with my Heavenly Father. Wow the beauty that our God created is just amazingly beautiful in every knook cranny of everything he has created us to see and unraval with our eyes, mind, Heart, body and soul. And if we just stopped are day to day activity and just really embraced what God wants us to see hear feel we find the mystery unfolding right before our eyes. Its a pretty sweet thing to see and be apart of.
I love this time with my heavenly father that i can walk with him and just have a conversation with him and tell him what is going on in my life and asking for guidance and hearing his response maybe at times is subtle or bam right there before me but how he speaks to me is sweetly precious and dear to my heart. Wow How he Speaks to us.
I am so forever in Love with my Father for he is everlasting, beautiful, almighty, powerful, practical, real personal definetly personal, real, true, creator, healer, provider, my lifter, revealer, redeemer, my savior, compassionate, mysterious, intriguing, my eyes, my voice, my heart, my ears, gracious, merciful, handsome, endearing, adoring, protector. He is revealing more and more of his story each and everyday that i am just in complete awe of. Reading and Listening to his story being written everyday of what he is doing in me and everyone around me, he speaks volumes and touches, grabs hold of and stirs my heart is a sweetly beautiful thing.
For I am so completely in Love with my God Father Son Holy Spirit....Can't help but Smile and just Embrace His Unfailing Love!!! :>)

Unwrap the Story

Feb 3, 2009 

Unwrap the Story

Unravel the Mystery

Unveil the Eyes

Untie your Hands

Untie the Chains

When we (you) are at your weakest you have fallen, is where we then find our Lords Mighty Hands to lift us up out of the darkness. That he lights the way and thats when we hear truth and we hold on tightly to that truth Where we (you) can be healed by no other but our God. His unfailing Love for us is Sweetly True.
So if you are at the lowest of lows and keep trying to grasp for something to hold onto and everything keeps tearing at the seams. You then realize that the only one thing you can hold onto that is stonger than anything else you have grasped before...Its Truth, His Word, His Love, His Strength

Our Sweet Heavenly Father, King of Kings,Our Light, Our Healer, Our Water, Our Peace, Our Breathe of Fresh Air, Our Comforter, Our Home!!! And So Much More!!!

Story: Transforming

January 2, 2009

Wow! There is not really a one word description that describes all the emotions that overflow within and burst outward. Oh, How Our God Works, How we unravel his mystery before our eyes, ears. Even how we can go about our day and then a sweet reminder that truth can be spoken even by others that haven't realized the relationship they could have with our Heavenly Father. How when those have a relationship and know their Heavenly Father and see him working all around. Until someone (me, you) come into their life to reveal , share with them of His Truth.

 

Lord as you expand our hearts for those that our lost, forgotten but not forgotten...they just don't know how to use their voice to cry out to you Lord. Those lost have been shaped with hurt, pain, or being bound for so long into these that this is all they know.

So it brings me to this....

How one man's story of presenting a cross that was shaped from a bullet...which that bullets story was war, hate, sorrow, darkness and was transformed into so much more...How God uses this to tell a story to reveal to others how something so small can be transformed into something so Great so much Promise, so much Hope. Yet this is material and how God used this material to show how small he goes to turn something that may look unpromising he transform it into Promising, into Hope so much more.

To Transform’s ones story into so much Promise.

How we as Humans before we knew truth we all came from different walks, paths, hurts, sorrows, doubt, walk in darkness. Though deep down in our hearts our souls a voice crying out to be filled with Promise, Hope, Truth, Joy, Love, Warmth, Home, Worth. We walk only seeing what’s only right in front of us. Only what we allow our eyes to see.

Then it all changes as we are invited to getting to know God to know His Story that’s when we are introduced to truth, as we seek truth to know more.

At that point your heart begins to feel warmth stirring as its beating for the first time. That as you keep walking in truth you hear a voice within that at first you’re not sure what it is but yet it is so familiar as though you may heard it before.

It’s Our, Your Sweet Heavenly Father calling you by name to come Home. To be filled with Love, Hope, Peace, Comfort, Joy, Healing, Home

As you surrender at the Foot of the cross (may not be literally at times) but spiritually. That you need more you need Hope, Love, and Truth

And you admit one thing that you know is True. You Can't do life Alone. And you want to walk in Truth...As you except to follow Christ Whole Heartedly...it is as this moment that all that weight that has been weighing you down suffocating you and as the dark place where you have been. Is then lifted off you with His Mighty Hands, Our Lord and Savior.

We (you) then are overflowed with Love Worth and Know we aren't forgotten and never was and in the darkest of darks He Was and Is By Our Side.

It starts with a Story and the Stories continue for Eternity into Our Hearts in His Heart. For His Story is being told more and more each day through our eyes through our voices...

                                                           So I ask you this What is Your Story?